Tonight was freezing! And In an instant the tyrannical cold temperatures were absorbed into my body upon impact. on the out side I was sweating profusely but inside it seemed as if my organs were being preserve for distribution. Upon each attempt to exhale I felt empty rigid air scraping my insides up, fighting to escape.
“Let me be dreaming, please God let this be a dream.”
Once again my moral innocence was raped. My eyes felt such a nakedness, as if what I just witnessed was the first tragedy my immature mind ever tried on for size. “Its like the cemetery across the street is collecting bodies on this road.” I thought to myself somewhere in between, “Oh my God!” and “What the Fuck!” and “Holy shit” and fervent pleas for his life.
“I should have told him to step back.”
For a moment his body eclipsed the moon, stars, and the flickering street light. His sneakers splattered, staining the concrete where they landed. For all those who bore witness to the tragedy earlier tonight those sneakers pose as a tragic reminder of the brutal uncertainties of life. Within the stained brains of passers by those sneakers lay. His blood streamed and his body laid mangled; seemingly disproportionate due to the bones that were no longer in their proper groves.
I ran to him immediately. “Can you hear me!” I repeated three times. Of course he couldn’t. I realized this when I’d seen that the blood was coming from his ears. nose, mouth, and head. I looked closer and realized his eyes were rolled back. Time stopped. NOT rhetorically either, at least not for me. I swear, everything stopped and all I wanted to do was hug this stranger. Hold him and cry for him as if he were my son or brother. I thought i was looking at a dead boy… until he began to gasp.
As horrendous as the sight was. As he held on to his life. I thanked god from the deepest place in my soul… beyond my heart. Hes Alive. Thank you Jesus. Thank you Ala. Thank you Universe. It was the most uncertain peace Ive ever encountered up to date. The ambulance arrived quickly. But the boys condition was severe. When the police arrived my heart which had been torn from my chest upon the vehicles impact, was then smudged into the concrete like a saliva and chemically drenched, lipstick stained cigarette butt.
The officer must have not realized that this was a boy. A woman bore him. Someone loves him. He is someones grandson. Maybe, it didn’t occur to him that this was a human being that belonged to a family or maybe he didn’t realize how devastating the experience could be for the rest of this kids life. Because aside from the fact that they took so long. He expressed zero sympathy. I asked if they needed a statement from a witnesses. He said, “No”. BUT that for insurance purposes the woman who hit the boy might be interested in my contact info. That Mother fucker. Maybe.. Just maybe the parents of the boy might also be interested in a documented statement, considering the fact that this irresponsible woman had ample time to see their son before impact.
Just as fast as it began it ended. He was off to the hospital. and my life was left on the side of the road along with his jacket that they cut off his body with surgical scissors. That boy gave me something eerily close to new life.
Suddenly, the air tasted different. Crisp. I have never been so grateful. Grateful to not feel pain. Physical pain. Because my imaginations rendition of the pain he must have felt was enough. I don’t want to sleep for fear of living this night over again.
There is a boy lying in the hospital and I cant free my mind from thoughts of him. I just want him to live. I just want him to be okay. I want to never pretend that this didn’t happen. He deserves for someone to remember. He deserves more than insurance money. He deserves for someone to care with spirit mind and soul. I will never forget. Even if I selfishly tried… shallowly tried… I couldn’t. We are all connected. My endless tears tonight bare witness to this truth.
This is REAL. As in Non-fiction. Not fake. This boy is real and so are his wounds. so is his pain. All because he was not conscience of his surroundings and he crossed a road with the false confidence that he would not be hit. I should have told him to step back but I didnt. So now im telling you all. Step back! Look all over when crossing the street. Walk at the crosswalk! No exceptions if possible. Dont think, “he/she won’t hit ME.” We are the authors of our own destinies. End your story with glory not horror. Walk awake. Life is not all lillies in the valley. There are also thorns, fires and careless drivers on the road. Beware!