This picture was taken in 2006, the same year I wrote this piece titled, “I am”.
Soul Traveler is the second blog that I’m working on consisting of my written creative works. This is me behind the smiles and the pints of Guiness. Cheers!
I am a Womyn with words. I dance because it allows me the key to free my hidden inhibitions… they remind me that I’m perfectly imperfect… This reminds me to breath.
I am a Womyn with passions. I write songs of my soul that dance and paint color in the eyes of poetic masters that gesture, “I too am great.” They suggest by their legacy that a dreamer dreams and that dreams flourish.
I am a Womyn with Intellect. A devote student of life and lives. In my eyes I see humanity a beautiful monster like a little girl with Shirley Temple curls screaming at the very top of her lungs……… Wouldn’t you say this too?
I am pensive, lost in thoughts of observations. No box to confine my heart. Instead there is a box that exposes it….. That box being the earth with the dirt and the air and the trees and the birds in the sky that keep me nailed to my knees because I worship her beauty that reminds me of me.
I am an Artist, a master of canvases real and imagined. I draw surreal dreams; I write of erotic adventures that I play over and over and over again in the auditorium of my secret domain where my lust it thrive…because I am a sexual creature.
I am fun crazy deep true to me free. Alive. I am all of these things and more..
I am a Womyn. I stand for what I believe in. Equality. I am more than just a pretty face painted over with mauve shadow and Fuscia lips. Shit I am a Womyn that to me means that I am powerful…in many ways. I embrace love. I live my femininity. I am independent and free to define my true idenity. I am a Womyn. I have talents, ideas and a vision for a world that I can say I help create…everyday. I am a womyn. Sometimes loud, aggressive, Latin and Proud.. I am a Womyn who lives, who reads, who sees a world in progress. I am a Womyn who is me.
By Natalie Olivo AKA Zen Stiles
This is a painting inspired by femininity, power, sensuality and women who have harnessed there own personal greatness. The name of the painting is ‘Halo’. This painting pays homage to the warrior spirit in every woman. We at times lose sight of the great honor it is to have been created a woman. Ladies rise up and claim your Halos.
Halo- An atmoshere or quality of glory, magesty, sanctity.
Hani Shihada is New York City’s sidewalk art extraordinaire! He’s been bedazzling sidewalks in Europe and NYC for over 25 years. Homeboy is MARVELOUS! He began sharing his talents on sidewalks while studying art in Rome during the 70’s. He also studied in Spain as well! His life is an artists dream. His work has been featured in movies, commercial, clubs, news articles, ads…so on and so forth! He’s got the skillz to pay the billz. He works in various mediums, and even does sculptures. The pastel chalks he uses to create his street masterpieces are all custom-made by the man himself! I’ve followed this artist for a few years now. So, I’m sure you could imagine my excitement when I bumped into Hani wrapping up his latest work!
Photocredit goes to www.brainwood.blogspot.com
I have more photos I took with my Blackberry coming! I was super excited to find that he was extremely personable. We spoke about sharing art and how we are all connected. Here are a few other pieces of his I love!
My fellow Latina! Sonia Sotomayor! Photo By Ed Yourdon
How Bananas is this!!
Yes this is 3D street art! The illusion of his work is insane! God I love NY!
It’s crazy that this is a chalked flat drawing, but because of the skills that this man possesses, he is able to creat such a believable illusion!
Cars, cars and more cars! Beautiful woman, over priced finger foods…. and good ol’ gut punchin’ New Yorkers, in all their aggression and charm. The New York International Auto Show is held annually at the Jacob Javits Center and makes for a great fix if your into eye candy! It’s definitely the place to visit if you’re seeking to buy a brand new car or looking to bump into an old boyfriend. Everyone and their mother shows up to this treasured NYC event.
My two favorite types of cars to look for at the event are the classic supped up rides (which are rare and few) and the concept cars (which this year get a solid six on the ten scale… not too impressive.) I’m usually limited as to what grabs my attention at this event because it’s just one mammoth car dealership show room floor if you ask me. I’m more of a classic car kind of girl myself…. Hot Rods, Muscle cars, Vintage and pimped out Lowriders all the way baby! None the less its great to explore what will be hitting the streets in the coming year.
If your tummy starts revving its engine at the show I recommend refueling on outside food as their prices at the show can be a bit outlandish for the quantity and quality of their food…. Entrance for Adults is $14 and $4 for children under twelve.
This car was like a huge disco ball! I wanted to take it home soooo bad! Just up my alley! Vanity, style, crazy and eccentricity all wrapped into one!
This was the saab concept car.
Saabs creative team has taken it to the next level with the Phoenix and they’ve done it so flawlessly! How futuristic is this beauty. To me this is what a great concept car does at an auto show…. Ushers the imagination into an unfolding and expanding future. I love glimpses of what to come. This is one of the reasons I attend the show….The idea of being surprised!
Justin, Jacob and I going for a hay ride! Justin’s grabbing some hay to chew…lol
I caught glances with this baby across the show room floor and I broke through the crowd to flirt with this beauty…. If she were mine I’d take her for a spin on my weekly Pearl Paint runs or even take her on long road trips across the U.S. to Santa Cruz California and Vegas…. This is my kinda car. And I would do her an injustice if I failed to mention homegirl has S T Y L E.
This was one of the highlights of my trip to the Javits Center… Bumble Bee!!!! On one of my Beautiful jungle runs I took a picture with Optimus Prime at Toys R Us Times Square so you can imagine how psyched I was when they had my favorite Transformer on display at the auto show!
Last Year at Toys R Us playing tour guide to a friend from Ecuador!
The Auto Show this year has run its course. I actually caught the last day, but for future reference Click here to sign up for their Newsletter, schedule and other Bonuses like Contests and Photos of all the Displays!
Yesterday I went to the fantastic (Drum Roll Please….) Guggenheim Museum! It was one of those crazy and spontaneous things I do when I have absolutely no plans (I just go where the wind takes me….) and because it was a Saturday, I got in for only $3 buckeroos! In the event YOU want to take advantage of this really cool deal, you can do so on any given Saturday between 5:45-7:45pm. Be sure to get there at 5:45pm or even a little earlier, as the line has been known to whipped around the block! The suggested donation is $10, but with all the private donations, grants and people paying the regular price for tickets at $18 a pop! “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn!” Give what you can…trust me They are NOT lacking!
I took this picture of their enormous Skylight with my rinky dink Blackberry Camera… The structure and design of this building is so flawless that you couldn’t ruin a photo opp if you tried.
WARNING:They are VERY adamant about their NO flash photography policy! Everyone tries…Shit even I snuck in a few. Still, beware the security guards that are stationed on each level. Once you begin your journey up that ramp best believe they are-a-watchin and people get really offended when confronted. Its rather entertaining actually. lol
With that said, the following photos are all works of art currently on display at the museum (with the exception of one) BUT these photos were found online at various web sites and I claim no credit for them…. other than the effort involved in locating quality replicas of these amazing works! Still there is nothing like seeing them in person!
Amedeo Modigliani, Nude, 1917
The naked chic was one of my favorites because I loved the jagged brush strokes that fill in the simple black outline that defines her body. All of his nudes are equally amazing. I also love how the sensual nature of the painting consumes the onlooker. When I saw this image I instantly felt like I was transported into the room with this beautiful woman and Amedeo… like I was having a spiritual Ménage à trois. Nudes are sexy and the whole relationship between the Art, the Artist, the Subject and the observer is soooo romantic that it completely eradicates thoughts of distaste, it immediately seduces you.
Mountains at Saint-Rémy (Montagnes à Saint-Rémy), July 1889. Oil on canvas, Vincent van Gogh Photo Credit: Matthew Felix Sun
I have this gift. I see images in the marble tiles in bathrooms, in decorative plastered walls, in splattered paint, in dirt smudges and in the strokes of a canvas I can see images that where never intended. Thats why I love this landscape by Vincent. I see cloves of Garlic and a man playing the saxophone… and because of this I feel like, not the man, but the spirit of the man and I, connect. The entities that are within, that make us both artist danced when I laid eye on this painting.
When your ready for a break, take a stroll over to Cafe 3 across from the Kandinsky Gallery on Annex Level 3! Its well priced sandwiches are like $7 and change… Beers $7 and you can get a glass of wine between $6 and $9 bucks.. If you ask me, not bad at all! They serve sandwiches, pastries, coffee, tea, wine, and beer, and there’s a really dope view of Central Park as well.
Cafe 3 Hours
10:30 am–5:15 pm
For more information, call 212 427 5682.
Man I wish I could have snuck this out in my pocket!!! I’m new to the work of Franz but he had me at Moo! His color usage is AMAZING! No photo could do this justice. This painting is a “you had to be there” piece. So sad you cant see it unless YOU’VE SEEN IT IN PERSON! That cow looks like its having a heck of a day! I did some research on his other works and they are all as magnificent!
Kupka, Frantisek – 1909-10 Planes by Colors, Large Nude Photo Credit: RasMarley
Now baby, this is ME! No like, for real, this is me on any given day of the week; lounging bare in the privacy of my home contemplating my world domination and what to cook for dinner. Have you ever had one of those “Why didn’t I think of that first” moments? Well, this was one of my “Why didn’t I paint that first” moments! This man is a GENIUS by every form of the definition. Color contrast, brush strokes, proportion, Soul! The image below was NOT ON DISPLAY but come on!
He is my new favorite… ok maybe my second new favorite! Now I just need to learn how to pronounce his name…hmmm.
Kandinsky’s “Black Lines” (1913).
Kandinsky.. Kandinsky.. Kandinsky (sigh) He owns the Guggenheim right now if you ask me and with good reason. Again, no justice I tell ya! When I saw this I knew “Houston we have a problem.” I knew I would never want to leave. I wondered if he painted to make women fall in love with him? Because the subject matter of his work suggests a loftiness.. like he’s in a class all his own and he knows it. As if to say, “my work supersedes your comprehension..Yes, I know.” It’s his disregard for your lack of understanding that’s so enticing. Because he draws you in with color… fantasy… intrigue… He IS in a class all his own and whether you understand it or not, you want to be apart of it. It’s the distance he creates that keeps you wanting more of him. The colors flirt.
Photo Credit: Justin Lane/European Pressphoto Agency
This building is soulless without these images or without the bodies that these images infatuate on a daily basis.
This is one of my rebel photos above!
Now I’ve not eaten here but a review of the Guggenheim would be incomplete without it!
11:30 am–3:30 pm
11:30 am–5 pm
11 am–3:30 pm
For Reservations 212 427 5690.
SOOOOOOOOO….after the museum just when I thought my soul could take no more… I run across an original De La Vega!!!!!!! AAAhhhhh! I’m having a mental orgasm just typing this! I’m like a crazed teen at a Justin Bieber concert when it comes to Art! Could ya tell! lol I love finding diamonds in the ruff! An original Del La Vega! Chalked on the ground across the street from the Guggenheim! A fish jumped ship, running with haste away from the bowl! I feel like he put that there just for ME…and dont you crush my dreams! and just when I thought it couldn’t get better….
I made it just in time for the Sunset at central Park! The ultimate work of art… the one that stole the show and every word… my very breath.
Then I got Very unhappy hahahahahahahaha cause my day was over. lol I was just playing with my camera! I’m nuts goodnight!
Solomon R. Guggenheim Museum
1071 Fifth Avenue (at 89th Street)
New York, NY 10128-0173
Sun–Wed 10 am–5:45 pm
Fri 10 am–5:45 pm
Sat 10 am–7:45 pm
Closed Thurs, Thanksgiving, Christmas Day
Some galleries may close prior to 5:45 pm Sun–Wed and Fri (7:45 pm Sat)
Saturday Baby! Pay as you wish! Otherwise, Adults $18
Students and Seniors (65 years +) with valid ID $15
Children under 12 Free
Audio tours are free with admission.
Tonight was a “Low Key” evening, kinda. A little Business and alot of pleasure. We started out with Cocktails at the Hudson Hotel Bar on West 58th and ended with Rose petals and humus at Shalel Moroccan Bar Lounge on West 70th. It was the perfect recipe for pleasure and relaxation! Even though Shalel was a little crazier than anticipated; all in all the night was smooooth and silly much like its participants. I met up with a friend of mine by the name of Brandon Lewis who is a very talented photographer and when he is not shooting for my brand Posh Pirate, he is photographing aspiring Models, Actors, Fashion Designers and Events. If he can fit you into his tight schedule the wait is well worth it!
So now down to the nittay grittay….This will be my first of many stellar reviews on dining and night life in New York City, my surrogate monster mother, in all of her empire beauty! (Yay! Gotta start somewhere) So lets begin with the ever so stylish Hudson Hotel! The green electric carpet that rolls out leading you up to the lobby, reveals the most incredible chandelier! Actually, you’ll find later that this introduction is merely foreshadowing the all around beauty and surprises, you’ve yet to encounter at this posh palace! Read on to see Pictures and Review
The Hudson Bar area is amazing, from the log bench and glass floors that light from within, to the excellent service. Not to mention the incredible hand painted ceiling that I can stare at for hours… Literally! The picture below is a very SMALL fragment of this hand painted masterpiece.
“One of New York’s hottest nightspots from the moment it opened, Hudson Bar in midtown Manhattan is a dazzling venue decorated in a riotous collection of styles. It features a glass floor lit from beneath and a hand painted ceiling by world-renowned artist Francesco Clemente… the perfect place for drinks, lively conversation, people-watching, and experiencing the undeniable excitement of New York.”
Brandon had to steal my attention away from the artwork to point out how dope the music was. I mean the Dj was on point with his musical selections and friendly enough to talk to Bran about his playlist… I had the Strawberry Sparkler and Bran had a Long Island! Caution: the cocktails are pricey at $18 a pop, but some of the wine and definitely the beer are WAY more reasonable!
After our photo opp… we dropped by the “Library” the second of five cool spots to hit up at the Hudson. They also have an outdoor terrace, a restaurant called Hudson Hall and the Private Park which is seasonal and reopens in spring 2011.
The Library is class with a little pizzaz! I wish I would have gotten a better picture of the books that line the top of this rooms borders! And if you’re not down for a game of Pool or Chess, there is always the awesome photography and books that are on display to have a gander at… not to mention the bar and Dj in the library that are equally as awesome as those at the Lounge.
After the Hudson, we decided to hit up a quaint little Moroccan spot my friend Rayboy put me on too… MY new spot, Shalel! this place was love at first sight!
I love that it is so incognito…. and the walk down ushers you into a rabbit hole of wonder and romance! But don’t get it twisted it doesn’t have to be romantic just for a couple, if you love yourself enough it could be romantic just for you.. it is for me.
This place was packed!!! I wish the bar was like this when we got there lol
Let me give you a visual. Rose petals line the stair cases… actually Rose petals are everywhere! There is a full bar and dozens of hidden rooms and cubbies. Every section makes you feel like you’re in an exclusive part of the space! There is a catch though! If you go on a busy night service is a little laxed. But, if your like me, that problem is fixed with a little kind assertion. But seriously, the ambience transports you to another part of the world.
The food is African, Greek and Middle Eastern and its, “The Stuff”, as I would say 🙂 Look at Brandon getting his sexy on…lol
We ordered the spread assortment and olives… Mind you this is the only time homeboy actually smiled for a picture, when the food began to arrive… “too funny!” This was the best time of the night!
Everything was fresh and perfectly prepared. The beers were cold and the cocktails were firm!
They even brought us some really great shots on the house! Slippery Nipples to be exact! All in moderation is fine… Drunken Stupor is not cool. Just thought I’d throw that out there. Drink responsibly!
Brandon’s friend Edgar stopped by later in the evening to join us. He’s an aspiring Actor/Model and all around cool dude…
I had to end the night early, being I’ve had way too much fun this weekend. Beginning with Saint Patrick’s Day on thursday. So homegirl was through… But to keep you all posted, Brandon has agreed to shoot for me in early April! So the scandal continues… and the building begins! Going Out Guns Blazin’! Peace!
Hudson Hotel Bar
356 West 58 Street
New York, New York 10019
Tel. 212 554 6217
Sun-Wed 7 PM-2 AM
Thu-Sat 7 PM-4 AM
(You can take the 1 train to Columbus Circle and its like two blocks)
65 W 70th St (Between Columbus Avenue and Central Park West)
New York, NY 10023 Tel. (212) 873-2300
Sun-Thu 4:30pm-12am Fri-Sat 4:30pm-4am
( Nearest Transit 72nd St (B, C) 66th St (1) 72nd St (1, 2, 3)
For as long as I can remember, I have dreamt of being an artist, that was able to eat and provide a steady living for herself. My blog is not even remotely close to where I want to take it or even close to meeting its potential…. There is so much that I want to gain from bearing my soul through writing and art. I want what anyone wants, TO BE HEARD! To have a voice. Whether screaming from the stroke of my brush or from the top of my lungs… I have something to say… I’m done whispering… I ultimately want to write for the glossies, children’s books, other websites and have a column in the New York Times (((That would be Dope!…of course I couldn’t say that in such a refined publication..lol but it would be!)) Hey you never know! Why is it that so many have forsaken their childhood dreams or have just simply forgotten how to dream BIG! Fuck it, Why can’t I have what I want if I work hard enough for it. Why should I let anyone make me feel like I don’t deserve what I want.. and so what if my confidence blinds you… put on shades. Why should anyone dim their light to be accepted by other individuals that are just afraid to feel GREAT or fearful to harness GREATNESS. Nah… not me honey. I want to raise my baby A.K.A Posh Pirate, a brand that will encompass ALL my talents.. and quite frankly I make no apologies for believing I will.
GOING OUT GUNZ BLAZIN’!!!!
I have often been known for telling the story of my many Mothers. Every single time, without fail, the story changes and evolves, as I indulge my listeners with stories of my mentors; women that have in some way transformed my beautiful existence. These Women have poured their own femininities into my heart and it over flows like wine in a drunkards mouth. Some have infused my life merely by existing with such confidence, energy and extensive personal power. I can’t even begin to express how fortunate I am… scratch that how blessed, lucky, indebted to the universe I am for the amazing women I’ve had the honor of crossing paths with, in body and some in spirit. And I’m not referring to your modern-day pop culture divas (though much respect to them). I’m referring to the reason that they are able to be who they are today… the trail blazers such as Cleopatra (hello), Joan of arc, Emily Dickinson, Frieda Kahlo, Simone de Beauvoir, Mother Teresa, Helen Keller, Harriot Tubman, Betty Friedman, Gloria Steinem, and one of my personal heroes, Maya Angelou… Just to name a few. And yes, these valiant women all come from diverse walks of life. They individually have their different passions and convictions that are rich with ambition. BUT what they do have in common is… that they are all pioneers in what is known as (((Freedom))) for all us ladies today. They used their human entitlement to thought, choice and greatness in order to change their individual worlds and ours! THEY WERE ALL FREE THINKERS!!!
There is nothing more inspiring than a free mind!
I’m also speaking about the women who have presently taken advantage of those freedoms and are moving mountains with it. Sonia Sotomayor, Michelle Obama, Oprah, Nancy Roland Johnson, Betsey Johnson and even the controversal Hilary Clinton, are just a SMALL few utilizing the beaten path to pave new ones. I’m also speaking about Real “around the way” women that are beautiful because they are strong, decisive, intelligent conquerors. My mother, Maritza (Luv u). My step mother, Jeanie (the woman who taught me about virtue, patience and egg in a hole lol). My best friend, Jessica (Proof that genuine people do exist even if they are few and far in between).
Then you have the passers-by, the beautiful masses that fuel this unpredictable and exciting life. A woman passing me in the subway with that look in her eyes that say, “I’ll do anything I want! I will be exactly who I Love to be…I will be ME (AND WHAT!! lol); and maybe today, I’ll take over the world!” or the single mother in the grocery store, juggling her cellphone, her purse and a box of captain crunch cereal; with an extra hand available to tie her kids shoes. These are as much my heroes as the women mentioned above. Just typing the names of my many mothers and conjuring thoughts of women that project power and unshakable strength fills me with courage, vigor and an excitement for life. knowing their stories gives my faith in moving mountains. They remind me that I am ALIVE, and that I am a woman, and that both are not rights they are privileges! So in light of International womans day this is my tribute to my many mothers! Continue reading
It’s Amazing how one person can affect Generations! How by life, composed correctly, one can become legendary! He pulled, stretched, expanded, stimulated, and infused with magic, the imaginations of the WORLD! As a child I devoured his books and images. As an artist I drowned in the color and rhyme. Till this day I cough up green eggs, crazy cat legs, star belly Sneetches, blue fish, red fish and dream of stolen christmas’. Thank You Dr. Seuss for being my muse, for being my friend and the composer of my symphonic brush strokes… even as an adult. I love you.
My FAVORITE Dr.Seuss book (((Drum Roll Please))) The Sneetches! Maybe subconsciously too… because it delivered the same message my father drove home every day of my life: BE A LEADER NOT A FOLLOWER!!!!!! Dr. Seuss and my dad, the two men that spoke truth into my life. Green eggs and Ham is about having an open mind… new things… Do not be perturbed by the unknown or the quote un-quote, WEIRD. The Cat in the Hat has some crazy theories surrounding it regarding its underlying messages but TO ME, it’s about honesty and order. Still despite it all, the fact is that Dr. Seuss will always be a channel of greatness that challenges the minds of us all!
Take a detour to Seussville.com by clicking the image above!!!! ❤
“Whatever happened to notes passed in class that made butterflies flutter, clutter and dive into the still waters of your hearts pond. Like fireworks on the fourth of July, mini orgasms exploding in your stomach! Your toes curling in the Punky Brewster sneakers your mom picked up for you at Payless. Your innocent hands shivering as your sweaty palms grip your chewed on number two pencil. You unfold the origami fortune-teller, revealing the kindergarten Shakespearian inspired words…”Do you like me? Circle YES, NO or Maybe” and with a quick swoop you’ve just accomplished making a boyfriend out of an admirer. Who cares if it was only for two days. Fuck it, It’s all about ” The Moment”… That first day, he was your prince charming, your very own Yum Yum Zack Morris, your happily ever after. He shares his juice box. You share your fruitsnacks. He holds your hand and if he gets lucky you share a peck on the cheek….. When no one is looking of course. Innocence was bliss.
MAN, what a treasure are the infancy revelations of love and the human condition. The such I imagine are cupids truest conquests.
“When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man (or, in my case a woman), I put away childish things.” 1 Corinthians 13:11
We are meant for each other and not meant for each other. It’s a contradiction. -Juan Antonio Only unfulfilled love can be Romantic.-Maria Elena…. and it was.
R.I.P My Heart
February 11, 2007-February 14, 2011
Tonight was freezing! And In an instant the tyrannical cold temperatures were absorbed into my body upon impact. on the out side I was sweating profusely but inside it seemed as if my organs were being preserve for distribution. Upon each attempt to exhale I felt empty rigid air scraping my insides up, fighting to escape.
“Let me be dreaming, please God let this be a dream.”
Once again my moral innocence was raped. My eyes felt such a nakedness, as if what I just witnessed was the first tragedy my immature mind ever tried on for size. “Its like the cemetery across the street is collecting bodies on this road.” I thought to myself somewhere in between, “Oh my God!” and “What the Fuck!” and “Holy shit” and fervent pleas for his life.
“I should have told him to step back.”
For a moment his body eclipsed the moon, stars, and the flickering street light. His sneakers splattered, staining the concrete where they landed. For all those who bore witness to the tragedy earlier tonight those sneakers pose as a tragic reminder of the brutal uncertainties of life. Within the stained brains of passers by those sneakers lay. His blood streamed and his body laid mangled; seemingly disproportionate due to the bones that were no longer in their proper groves.
I ran to him immediately. “Can you hear me!” I repeated three times. Of course he couldn’t. I realized this when I’d seen that the blood was coming from his ears. nose, mouth, and head. I looked closer and realized his eyes were rolled back. Time stopped. NOT rhetorically either, at least not for me. I swear, everything stopped and all I wanted to do was hug this stranger. Hold him and cry for him as if he were my son or brother. I thought i was looking at a dead boy… until he began to gasp.
As horrendous as the sight was. As he held on to his life. I thanked god from the deepest place in my soul… beyond my heart. Hes Alive. Thank you Jesus. Thank you Ala. Thank you Universe. It was the most uncertain peace Ive ever encountered up to date. The ambulance arrived quickly. But the boys condition was severe. When the police arrived my heart which had been torn from my chest upon the vehicles impact, was then smudged into the concrete like a saliva and chemically drenched, lipstick stained cigarette butt.
The officer must have not realized that this was a boy. A woman bore him. Someone loves him. He is someones grandson. Maybe, it didn’t occur to him that this was a human being that belonged to a family or maybe he didn’t realize how devastating the experience could be for the rest of this kids life. Because aside from the fact that they took so long. He expressed zero sympathy. I asked if they needed a statement from a witnesses. He said, “No”. BUT that for insurance purposes the woman who hit the boy might be interested in my contact info. That Mother fucker. Maybe.. Just maybe the parents of the boy might also be interested in a documented statement, considering the fact that this irresponsible woman had ample time to see their son before impact.
Just as fast as it began it ended. He was off to the hospital. and my life was left on the side of the road along with his jacket that they cut off his body with surgical scissors. That boy gave me something eerily close to new life.
Suddenly, the air tasted different. Crisp. I have never been so grateful. Grateful to not feel pain. Physical pain. Because my imaginations rendition of the pain he must have felt was enough. I don’t want to sleep for fear of living this night over again.
There is a boy lying in the hospital and I cant free my mind from thoughts of him. I just want him to live. I just want him to be okay. I want to never pretend that this didn’t happen. He deserves for someone to remember. He deserves more than insurance money. He deserves for someone to care with spirit mind and soul. I will never forget. Even if I selfishly tried… shallowly tried… I couldn’t. We are all connected. My endless tears tonight bare witness to this truth.
This is REAL. As in Non-fiction. Not fake. This boy is real and so are his wounds. so is his pain. All because he was not conscience of his surroundings and he crossed a road with the false confidence that he would not be hit. I should have told him to step back but I didnt. So now im telling you all. Step back! Look all over when crossing the street. Walk at the crosswalk! No exceptions if possible. Dont think, “he/she won’t hit ME.” We are the authors of our own destinies. End your story with glory not horror. Walk awake. Life is not all lillies in the valley. There are also thorns, fires and careless drivers on the road. Beware!
It’s been weeks since my warrior spirit vanished. Maybe she’s on a sabbatical trying to “find herself”. Waiting on the divine to let her know that she is more than a conqueror. On lookers watch, speculating that this will pass. So where does that leave my ass? On my ass of course. Kicking my feet. Clenching my fist… swinging at the open air. Mute and void of inspiration.
WHY? I hate that question, but I ask with a marveled and perplexed heart. ME the survivor? The mountain top dweller? The face lifter and naysayer crusher? “Jolly Rancher” and “Smiley” imposed nicknames by friends that label me the optimist. And here I am typing, staring blankly at the screen as if I were writing these words on auto pilot. losing myself in catatonic worm holes every few words as my mind, body and soul regroup to conjure up complete and coherent thoughts without sounding like im rambling on repeat. I feel like Rah, Rah… fucking blah! Pom poms down like my up side down smiles.
The mural project is on hold… Posh Pirate website developments seem like the things that pipe dreams are made of. My money flow is about to expire and I feel like the “old me” the “real me” is on the verge of extinction. WTF. It’s like my life has the flu and the virus is spreading through out. I’m learning that my friends are fickle and few. My love life is blurred. I don’t even want to speak about it as to prevent myself from exposing what lies beneath shredded skin. This girl drowning in an empty pool. Gasping for air that is already there. Reaching for the gold ring as I turn on this speeding carousel when the ring is safely in my pocket. I know that I know that I know, I got this. But what is this mind barrier… where has it come from. Where is the Calvary. Not that I’m expecting anyones pity or consolation. Trust me, I know that we are all susceptible to such moments but where is my inner super woman?! Bitch needs to wake up! Cause I’m ready, even if I don’t “feel” my usual confidence I still have SOME of my spirit left. Thankfully its the risk taker portion of my spirit that still stands waiting on the rest of myself to catch up, while she continues believing for all of me that I can do anything. In the mean time, I’m left here waiting on time to show face. Believing along with the spectators that this too shall pass. Peace.
GOING OUT GUNS BLAZIN’
The other day I’m on the Perez Hilton site, right?……Well actually, it turned out to be more like a ‘Twilight Zone’ time portal. You remember the spiral one.. Yeah, just like that! Boo-ya-ka back to the story…..
About three years ago, I had a dream that would’ve had the most prestigious psychologist question my sanity. And of course… I thought it was just morbid and crazy enough to be the most brilliant idea ever! Okay, so not ever exactly, But it was twisted and it was different.
Caution: Before you read on, I would like to assure the public that I am very sensitive to the topic we are about to dive into. Still, the creative connotation of such a controversial concept and topic is Genius. It is because of how offensive, unlikely and unfathomable… even abominable the subject matter is- that makes it sinfully intriguing. This is just MY personal opinion. Continue reading
I set the alarm for 5:30 in the AM. When my life made sense, this is the time I would wake up every morning before diving nose first (No splash!) into my long productive days. I couldn’t wait to wake … Continue reading